Forget Me Not!

I am very forgetful. Sometimes I think it is a bit extreme haha! Either it is clumsiness, forgetful or both but I hate it when I am in that situation. A lot of time and energy wasted just because that. I wonder why I always forget things… Maybe it’s some kind of sign of more serious diseases? 😀 Some kind of virus eating my brain maybe? A psychopath traits?? Oh no!! I have this fetish for anything gore, madman on killing sprees, sadistic, violent, serial killers etc type of movies! SAW series, Hannibal, Silence of The Lamb, Scream, Se7en just to name few. Bwahhahahahahaha!!! Phear me!!!!

Yeah, I always forget things..sometime the things are so simple.. that I myself never think that I can forget. You can say I am a bit disorganised as the result. Hehe.. To think of it it’s kinda silly.. let’s see what are the things that I did in the past, because of my forgetfulness..

1. Went to class without wearing underwear.. No.. I made that up 😀 muahahahahaha! Er, but that’s an idea eh? Should try it tomorrow when I go for work 😛 Okay,  serious… serious..  

1. Riding my bike without wearing helmet – This one time… no I think few times.. one of it was that I went to the post office, took off my helmet, put it on the chair.. and waited for my number to be called. Finished my business there, went to take my bike and vrooomm… went for evening class. Halfway.. passed this construction area, the road is dusty.. so I tried to cover my face.. and.. huh??? Where is my helmet? Fark.. I left it at the post office.. and I already traveled like 4-5 km.. about to reach campus already. Damn bodo thing to forget.

2. Forgot to take my bike after car-pooled my friend to campus. Sometime I tumpang my friend’s car to campus. Normally on exam day, or I was lazy to ride my bike to campus. So I would ride to my friend’s house, parked my bike there, and took my bike when finished class. You see, on the way back from campus, we will reach my house first (my friend’s house is few streets down from my house) and I will asked my friend to drop me off at my house.. Selamba, came back from evening class, went to take my bath.. watch a bit of tv.. then went for dinner. At the door.. aik???? Where is my bike?? Cilaka.. forgot to take my bike.. left at friend’s house..

3. Forgot someone’s birthday, someone very close to me. This sucks! This happened last year… I totally forgot the date on the actual day, and proceed to call her the next day, still thinking that,it was her bday (Get it? Her birthday is on 29th March, so last year, on the 29th March and I thought it was 28th March and did nothing, and on the 30 March, I called her to wish her ‘Happy Birthday!!’ Need not to say, I was blasted.. chopped to pieces when I said that. Things getting worse when I called to wish her happy birthday, she did not answer my call.. and I still didn’t know what happened at that time!!! I was thinking that, what la… jual mahal.. sulking again?? I called her 10 mins after midnight (I thought it was 29th March but actually 30th March) so I thought.. aik.. late 10 mins wish birthday also merajuk?? Little that I know, I did a terrible terrible mistake…

After trying like 20 times calling her, she answered the call and I asked ‘Hey.. why dont want answer my call la??’ – still oblivious of the reason she was not answering my call. She just quiet, and said that she was going to sleep to which I replied, “Wah, I purposely wait after midnight to call you.. wish you birthday.. and you seems like not so happy…” .. .. .. … … … Cut the story short, I end up 3 hours on the phone explaining how the fark I mixed up the whole things up.. (not forgetting for the 1st half an hour, I was defending myself “today is 29th, not 30th”) Really… embarassing. I feel like shooting myself it the head and feed the brains to the pigs or dogs.. Hopefully this will never happen again… sob sob sob….

4. Forgot my to retrieve my ATM card after withdrawing the moneyThis is what happened. I went to open a saving account and apply for the ATM card as well this morning. After I got my passbook and ATM card, together with the pin code, I went to the ATM machine to change the pin code and proceed to do some transactions. 1st try – to transfer money to 3rd party account, failed. Ok.. 2nd try – check account balance, failed. Huh?? I went back to the customer service counter and was told that, I need to wait for few more hours for my ATM card to be activated. Ok fine, waited like 10 mins and I went back to the ATM machine. (got one urgent transaction need to be done mar… anxious lor..) Tried to check my account balance, ah great! It worked. So I proceed to transfer my money, and happily after finished the transaction, walked away and called my friend to tell him I just banked in his money…. then went back to my office.

10 mins after that…

Hmm, I feel like forgetting something… what is it ah?? Oh fark!!! My ATM card!! So I rushed back to the ATM machine, hoping that the card was still there.. Bad.. bad.. no card left at the machine, went to the counter and asked; nobody ‘kindly’ took my card and passed it to the staffs there. Argh!!!! So I need to reapply for my ATM card. Fark.. This is the most stupid thing to do, apply a new ATM card, and reported lost the next 10 minutes…

These are just few of the things that I did.. when I was in my ‘forgetful’ mode… There are more.. but.. I’ll keep it to myself heh! So, are you forgetful or tend to forget things? Beware…. Ha! Ha! Ha!

 

Fool

Was blog-hopping just now. This is for today’s read. Check out the bold part. 🙂

Datuk Pengelola Bijaya Diraja Istana Negara said that His Majesty was greatly displeased with assertions that he supported the illegal gathering,”As the country paramount Ruler, it was the king’s responsibility to ensure all citizen obeyed the country’s laws, based on system of constitutional monarchy set out in the Federal Constitution.”

You fool. Here ‘all citizen’ means – not excluding the Barisan Government, Cabinet, Police etc and that they too must comply with the constitution, which evidently allows peaceful processions and assemblies. The very act of not giving one deprived the rakyat of their right as conferred by the constitution and it’s illegitimate in law.

Incidently, here’s a lesson for our UMNO’s Zam Zam Ala Kazam minister. ‘NOT EXCLUDING’ above simply means ‘INCLUDING’. It is not dissimilar with the last complicaton you encountered:-

ZAM: “We are not like you, you have early perception..you come here you want to project us like us undemocratic country..its a democratic country..” (Siapa faham?) (Who will understand that?)

Al-Jazeera: “Why did you not break this protest more peacefully”.

ZAM: “I can’t hear you! I can’t hear you! (lol this trick I always use, see my post ‘Free Holiday Voucher Anyone?‘)

Sebenarnya, dia tak faham apa peranan “not” dalam “Why did you not break …” (Actually, he could not comprehend what is the usage of not in the sentence. Dumbass!)

Who Is This Sohai?

Well well well… Today’s local dailies all carries the same story. The Agong displeased over claims that he backed illegal rally???? And who speak on behalf of Agong? Well if you read all the papers today, there is this guy with the title Datuk Pengelola Bijaya Diraja (Comptroller of the Royal Household) who issued the statement to the media. What???? Comptroller of the Royal Household? In layman term, means housekeeper lah? Maid like.. if you still don’t get it. Why The Agong will issue his statement through this fella? Haha… Bullshit lah, what I know is any official statement from The Agong will come from The Keeper of Royal Seal. It the The Keeper of the Royal Seal whose job it is to make official statements on behalf of The Agong. This housemaid fella, his job is to maybe take care of the royal eatery, food, wardrobe, ensure the cleanliness of the palace, the running of the palace maybe.. but to issue statement on behalf of The Agong?? Only fools will believe that. It is sad to think how low some people will go to distort the truth.

So, get the facts right. He is only a housekeeper, he has none in his capacities to issue a statement on behalf of His Majesty. Only The Keeper of the Royal Seal (Penyimpan Mohor Besar Raja-Raja) can issue an official statement on behalf of the King. And it is not normal for another palace official to issue a statement from The Agong. What some more from Comptroller of the Royal Household???? What a joke….. Pftt… Royal Household… Kah kah kah!

I think it is an act of damage control by a government that is trapped between imagination and reality. They couldn’t believe the rally is a success despite so many warnings, threats of arrest, roadblocks, use of tear gas and water cannons at some area but still 50,000 thousands people went out and showed their support. Prove me wrong, that is not another lie to deceive the dumb and ignorant Malaysians. 🙂

Updated :

Just as I surf around to find out about this issue, Malaysian Today has this to report 🙂 Well, just as I thought..this just confirmed my suspicion.

 

16/11: What the eye does not see

 

Category: Articles

Posted by: raja petra

THE CORRIDORS OF POWER

Raja Petra Kamarudin

Now you see it, now you don’t. Yes, people like David Copperfield make a very good living doing silap mata. The English call it magic. Actually it is more a sleight of hand. The hand moves faster than the eye, they always say, so while they make you focus on one hand, the other hand does the ‘magic’ trick. Malays call it silap mata, which translates literally to ‘fault of the eye’. Whatever it may be, and whatever language you are comfortable with, the main gist to the whole thing is: what you see is not what you get — or in ‘computer language’, WYSINWYG.

And today the Government of Malaysia tried doing a David Copperfield on us.

“Tuanku Mizan Regrets Claims He Supports Illegal Rally,” screamed the Bernama headlines. The Malay version said, “Tuanku Mizan Kesal Dakwaan Baginda Sokong Perhimpunan Haram.” Both versions can be read below.

Wow! To the layman this sounds very serious indeed. A very ‘high-ranking’ Istana Negara official named Datuk Wan Mohd Safiain Wan Hasan and going by the title of Datuk Pengelola Bijaya Diraja has issued a statement of behalf of The Agong. Who is this guy anyway?

Well, this guy holds the position that Jeanne Danker used to hold before she dislodged the Raja Permaisuri Agong to become Malaysia’s so-called ‘First Lady’. Actually, the Prime Minister’s wife is maybe the ‘22nd Lady’ after the Raja Permaisuri Agong, the consorts of the nine State Rulers, the four Undangs, the four Governors, followed by the few ex-Raja Permaisuri Agong still living. But the government-controlled media would like us to believe that the Federal Constitution of Malaysia is wrong in placing 21 other ladies above the Prime Minister’s wife.

This Wan Safiain chappie hails from Terengganu and works for the Prime Minister’s Department. In fact, the entire office of the Istana Negara comes under the Prime Minister’s Department. I remember relating an incident which happened way back in November 1999, a few days before the Tenth General Election.

In November 1999, I was tasked with the job of delivering a letter from Barisan Alternatif to the Istana Negara requesting an audience with The Agong then, my uncle. I delivered the letter at noon on Friday and went off to the mosque for my Friday prayers. When I went back to the office around 2.30pm there was a reply waiting for me in the fax machine turning down our request for an audience, with a suggestion that we try again after the general election. Our letter was addressed to The Agong. The reply came from the Prime Minister’s Department. The Agong never got to see the letter and was not even aware that one had been sent. And that was probably the fastest reply ever from a government department in Malaysia’s entire history.

So now we know how the Istana Negara office works. The office comes under the Prime Minister’s Department and the people in that office are planted there by the Prime Minister’s Department to be the eyes, ears and sometimes mouth of the government as well. And today we saw an example of how it has become the mouth of the government. Today’s announcement by the Datuk Pengelola Bijaya Diraja, not the Keeper of the Royal Seal but the Keeper of the Royal Linen a la Jeanne Danker before she became ‘First Lady’, is a prime example of how these plants from the Prime Minister’s Department are the eyes, ears and mouth of the government.

That is why it was not wise to quietly deliver the BERSIH Memorandum to The Agong. If that had been done, then the Memorandum would have been hijacked and would have been diverted to the Prime Minister’s Department instead — and The Agong would have never seen it. And that was also why it was necessary for 100,000 citizens to march to the Istana Negara to ‘escort’ the Memorandum — although only 50,000 eventually got through because they sealed off all the roads into Kuala Lumpur which resulted in one of the worst traffic jams in history.

This Datuk Pengelola Bijaya Diraja chappie is a most unpopular personality in the Palace office. Everyone in the Palace office knows he has been planted there as the eyes and ears of the government. And his job is not only to keep a watch on things and report back to the Prime Minister’s office whatever is happening in the Palace, but he has also been tasked with the job of frustrating every effort of The Agong in interacting with the rakyat (citizens).

Today’s press announcement did not come from The Agong. It did not even come from the Keeper of the Royal Seal whose job it is to make official statements on behalf of The Agong. It came from a glorified chamber maid planted in the Palace as an enemy in the blanket. These are the worst kind of slime-balls and scumbags. They smile and call you friend. Then they stick a dagger in your back.

100,000 rakyat wanted to meet their Monarch that afternoon of Saturday, 10 November 2007. The Agong did not say no. The Agong will never say no to 100,000 rakyat who wish for an audience with His Majesty. The Agong just wanted to know how many people will be representing the 100,000 rakyat and what their names are.

The Agong also realised that the government will certainly try to frustrate the effort of the 100,000 rakyat who wished for an audience with His Majesty. And this did happen. The government said that a police permit would be required and that the organisers should apply for one. So the organisers did, but the application was rejected. And the government warned that if the 100,000 rakyat still insisted on pursuing the march then the government would retaliate with force. And the government did as promised.

When the first volley was fired on the assembled marchers around the Masjid Jamek-Masjid India area, word was passed down the line that the 19th Brigade of the Royal Malay Regiment or Regimen Askar Melayu Di-Raja (RAMD) was on stand-bye, to move in if there are any fatal casualties. Fourteen armoured cars (kereta perisai) had earlier arrived from Sungai Petani and were parked at the Sungai Buloh military camp, ready to roll at a minute’s notice. It would take them ten or fifteen minutes to arrive at the scene of any violence against the rakyat.

Panic buttons were pressed and alarm bells rung. This had happened once on 13 May 1969 in Kampong Baru. The Royal Malay Regiment is not one to mess around with. The Agong is their Commander-in-Chief and soldiers are trained to obey their Commander-in-Chief at no consequence to their own lives.

The police backed off. They were reduced to traffic control where those positioned at junctions stopped cars to allow the marchers to safely cross the road. The RAMD remained on standby and the next morning the fourteen kereta perisai quietly slipped out of Sungai Buloh and went home.

This has worried the government. The Agong did not say he did not wish to meet the representatives of the 100,000 marchers. He in fact asked for their names. And when the government issued threats of violence against the marchers, the 19th Brigade of the RAMD was brought into Kuala Lumpur with fourteen kereta perisai. This was The Agong’s way of saying that if you shoot the marchers, just like you did in Batu Burok in front of The Agong’s palace in Kuala Terengganu, then all hell will break loose.

So the government backed off. They had no choice. The 100,000 rakyat wanted to meet The Agong and His Majesty had said yes. And the 19th Brigade of the RAMD came to town to ensure that yes means yes.

Abdullah Ahmad Badawi issued a decree at the Umno General Assembly the day before the Saturday, 10 November 2007, march. He said he ‘pantang dicabar’. This translates to mean he is allergic to being challenged. And his son-in-law, Khairy Jamaluddin, asked the police to arrest all the marchers. Yes, arrest all the marchers. Arrest all 1,000 of them! Arrest all 2,000 of them! Hey, even if it is 5,000, arrest all 5,000 of them. But wow, it is 50,000 with another 50,000 on the way. How to arrest 50,000, or 100,000 if the other 50,000 reach Kuala Lumpur?

Oops, forget about arresting them. 50,000 is too large a number to arrest. There are not enough trucks to ferry 50,000 and not enough jails to house 50,000 people. Instead, close all the roads leading into Kuala Lumpur. Seal off Kuala Lumpur and not allow anyone in. Let it remain 50,000. Don’t allow it to grow to 100,000. Then we will announce we won. We will announce that the march failed and the ‘illegal demonstrators’ were prevented from assembling at Dataran Merdeka.

Shit, now we are told that they never intended to assemble in Dataran Merdeka in the first place. The Dataran Merdeka thing was a decoy, a Red Herring. They wanted the police to assemble in Dataran Merdeka so that they can march unhindered to the Istana Negara. We were tricked. They won. We lost.

Okay, all is not lost. We can still announce that The Agong is not happy with the march. We will announce that The Agong did not agree to the march. We will announce that The Agong did not consent to the march. That will give the perception that we won and the 100,000 marchers lost. And we will get the head of housekeeping to make that announcement. After all, he is our plant in the Palace. He is our man and on our payroll. And, since he carries this very impressive title, no one will know he is just in charge of making the beds and not actually anyone important.

Oh yeah? Well, Malaysia Today knows. And Malaysia Today knows that most in the Istana Negara regard him as a slime-ball and a scumbag. And anything he who makes the beds says does not matter as long as it is not The Agong himself who said it. Try again guys. Maybe you will have better luck next time. And please, don’t ask that slime-ball and scumbag to make any statements if you want us to believe that it is really The Agong who is saying it.

Samy Shocked… Again?

Quote of the day :  “I am shocked and I want answers,”

The above line should be included in my ‘Dummies Guide To Be A Politician In Malaysia‘. In situation like this, you must express shock and firmly say ‘I want answers!’ ‘We will nail the culprits!’ and then rely on the short term memory of general Malaysians.  Thanks to Samy for his valuable input to the guide 🙂 I was reading the comic The Star Online for amusementand there I found it… (you will never fail to crack a laugh everytime your read it, good read when you are depressed. My advice, jump straight to Nation section for interesting jokes of the day and you will not be disappointed. Work everytime.)  on the front page :

RM4.5mil administrative building near lake collapses

Samy shocked, wants answers

KUALA LUMPUR: The collapse of a two-storey building on a hillslope at the edge of Tasik Banding in Gerik, Perak, has Works Minister Datuk Seri S. Samy Vellu reeling with disbelief. 

“I am shocked and I want answers,” said a furious Samy Vellu, who called for action to be taken against the contractor if it was found that structural failure caused the collapse.  

It was fortunate that no one was hurt “but there must be some action,” he said. 

On Tuesday, the building began to collapse at 8am and crumbled completely two hours later

Read the rest here. How many times we must get his kind of standard answers before they really take actions? How long are we going to let them say what ever they want and take no responsibility? And we just sit back and watch? Since there’s no life lost, it’s not happening to our house just don’t bother lah yeah? Just wait for it to happen to us, then only we should start sounding the alarm. Well, just see what they will do this time. Are they going to sweep it below the carpet again just like few cases back then. Landslides at Hulu Kelang, Wangsa Maju.. just to name few. (Oh I forgot the rest.. there you go.. my short term memory loss..)

Ini Prosedur (This Is The Procedure)

I went to one of the local council today, submit a CF application. The CF application is for the extension of canopy roof for an existing factory. The factory itself already got the CF, and the owner want CF for the extended canopy as well. Normally, it’s not compulsory for a canopy to have CF. ( I asked about this before, one lady at building department told me they normally do not give out CF just for canopy, but if the owner insists, they will give). Ok, for a typical CF application for a premis (office, housing scheme, factory, warehouse bla bla) you need to prepare few things such as the forms, letter to each deparment involved and most impotant photos for the items in the checklist given by each of the departments. (eg. Building department- front, side, back view of premis, refuse chamber, guard house Planning dept – signboard, flags, toilets, pantry, parking space and numbering Engineering dept. – road signs, drainage sumps, existing drain, Landscape dept. – trees, flowers) and submit is at the One Stop Centre (OSC -a department where you submit all the plans, bla bla.. and then they will distribute the relevant documents to the department involved) Ok, I referred to the checklist given, but all the items in it have nothing to to do with the canopy, so I thought nevermind, I just prepared photos showing the canopy then is enough, no need the checklist. (If use the checklist, what to tick? None of the item is for the canopy) Damn it I was wrong!! Here’s what happened :

… satu kosong empat lapan kaunter 7 (my number kena!! wah lao! :D) so I went to the kaunter

Me : Hi Manis, I nak submit for CF application. (Ok, I didn’t said ‘Manis’. She’s not manis either.. bit bitter I think haha!)

Lady : Untuk projek aper?

Me : Extension of canopy untuk kilang sedia ada kat … bla bla bla..

Lady : Uh? Canopy jer? Kilang dah ada CF? Tapi kalau canopy jer biasa tak payah submit.

Me : Ya, kilang dah ada CF. Er, owner nak ada CF untuk canopy.

Then the lady checked the documents – forms, photos, letters everything..

Lady : Mana checklist Jabatan Perancang?

Me : Oh, I checked, takder item yang berkaitan, so I tak sertakan.

Lady : Em, tunggu jap ye, I call bangunan jap.

She called this one big shot at building dept.. two of them bla bla bla la.. for few minutes..

Lady : Kena ada checklist dari Jabatan Perancang juga dan kena prepare gambar yang diminta dalam checklist, untuk Perancang dan Bangunan sekali.

Me : HaaaaaaaaaaarghhHH!! Tapi, saya submit untuk canopy saja, kilang dah ada CF, buat apa nak gambar yang lain lain? Tak kan saya kena sertakan gambar surau.. tandas, ofis kalau saya apply CF untuk canopy bukan kilang?

Lady : Ini prosedur encik. Kena ikut.

Me : Em, boleh saya cakap dengan yang in-charge CF kat Jabatan Bangunan?

Lady : Ok, saya call you cakap dengan dia.

She called and passed the line to me.

Big shot lady : Selamat pagi.

Me : Selamat pagi puan, Ye nak tanya sikit, berkenaan CF submission ini.

Big shot lady : You nak submit CF untuk apa ni. Kilang?

Me : Untuk canopy

Big shot lady : Canopy saje? Kilang dah ada CF? Pelan dah lulus? (Fark, if not yet lulus I wont submit in la tolol…)

Me : Ya sudah lulus. Kilang dah ada CF. Lepas tu owner buat extension canopy pada kilang, and dia nak CF untuk part canopy tu. So saya submit gambar gambar canopy sahaja boleh tak?

Big shot lady : Tak boleh. You kena prepare gambar gambar kemudahan lain, tandas, penanda jalan, surau.. bla bla. Kita nak tengok gambar gambar itu juga.

Me : Tapi, kilang dah ada CF, pihak bangunan dah pergi buat inspection masa CF application, kali ni untuk canopy saja pun kena submit balik gambar gambar yang lain selain canopy?

Big shot lady : Ye kita tahu dah ada CF, kita tak akan inspect apa yang dah existing kat site, cuma kita nak simpan sebagai rekod.

Me : Kalau tak inspect yang existing, tak perlulah nak gambar gambar yang lain. Gambar canopy saja cukuplah puan. Rekod? Bukan ke masa apply CF untuk kilang, kita dah bagi bangunan dua set gambar bangunan, dah ada lah gambar surau, tandas, kebuk sampah..

Big shot lady : Itu lain. Fail lain lain, ini kita nak satu fail. Nanti ada apa apa berlaku kat you punya canopy kita boleh refer. (wtf she’s saying? canopy.. canopy la.. what refer other photos?)

Me : Memang lah lain lain fail puan. Ini kira dua submission, tak ada kena mengena lah..Kalau ada apa apa berlaku pada canopy, puan refer fail dan gambar canopy, kalau ada apa apa berlaku pada bangunan, puan refer fail dan gambar bangunan. CF pun lain lain kan?

Big shot lady : Ini prosedur. Kalau nak submit kena ikut prosedur

Me : Tapi…

Big shot lady : Ini prosedur… ini prosedur… ini prosedur (chanting..like the monk chanting the mantra.. Ok she did not. But it sounded that way hehe.. )

In the end I decided not to submit…Procedures.. procedures my ass… everytime procedure. Dont think they even understand what are the procedures for…Procedures were created in the first place to facilitate a process of doing things and make do things easier, not creating obstacles.. but to think of it, why the owner want CF for a canopy.. lol.

Siapa Bodoh?

Dear Malaysians,

See for yourself. Some monkeys from the ruling party trying to politicize the issue, their usage of rude and degrading words, keep on disturbing a fellow parliamentarian when he was talking and none of them talking using their brain. The words that came out from their mouth stinks, I wonder if they wipe their mouth with the same tissue they wipe their ass with. Siapa bodoh?? Sendiri tau lah…

p/s : My blood boils everytime I listen or see that Sri Gading guy speaks, Aziz what shit is his name. Same goes with that Kinabatangan mp, Bung Radin what Mokhtar.. They are top in my list of dumb, irritating, fugly, annoying and cheap politicians.. and I keep wondering how come these two shitheads managed to put themselves there and fark everybody else at their pleasure? Who the dumb fark elected them to the house? To both MPs and their voters, you dumb fark, bodoh, bendul, bengap, dungu, lembab, retarded please shove your head in your own ass if you can and disappear for humanity good. Please…spare us.

Off to watch Halloween. Remember Michael Myers? Not that Mike Myers from Austin Power lah. Bah.. figure it out yourself~!

Malaysia Boleh! Lol…

One dark night, a Perodua Kancil car was strolling on the highway. Suddenly the engine died and the car stopped. So the driver opened the engine cover and inspected the engine compartment but being an idiot in car related things, he didn’t know what is wrong with his Kancil. So he took out his cellphone and looked for numbers to call. At this time, a Nissan Skyline GT-R drove past. The driver suddenly stopped and reversed his Skyline to the place where the Kancil driver was standing. And he asked..

Skyline Driver : What happened to your car?

Kancil Driver : Er, no idea, bro. You want to help me? Have a look at my car.

Skyline Driver : Sorry man, I know shits about cars. I just know how to drive, the rest my mechanic will settle it for me. Never want to get my hands dirty, you know.. But I can help to tow your car to the nearest town. How?

Kancil Driver : Em.. Okay, I appreciate that man.

Skyline Driver : No problem man. Just let me know if I’m driving too fast yeah? You sit inside your Kancil and flash the lights if I’m to fast.

Kancil : Easy dude. Flash the lights I will..

So the Skyline towed the Kancil behind and their journey continued. After some distance, another car drove past them, this time it was a Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution 9. The Evo 9 slowed down and started to rev his engine, signaling his challenge for a race to the Skyline. The Skyline driver, obviously pissed with the arrogant display by the Evo 9 slam his pedal and start accelerating. Both cars were speeding fast, with the Evo 9 leading in the front. As the cars speeding at the top of their speed, they were unaware that the area is famous for speed trap. So at this one speed trap location, a policeman is standing by his speed recording instrument. The cars sped fast past him and his instrument. To his disbelieve, the screen was showing the cars were traveling at 250km/j. He grabbed his walkie talkie and relayed the information to his colleague.

Policeman 1 : Bola satu ke bola dua. Bola satu ke bola dua..(Ball one to ball two.. ball one to ball two..)

Policeman 2 : Bola dua terima. Cakap. (Ball two here. Speak)

Police 1 : Awak mesti tak percaya ni. Ada kereta sedang berlumba di jalan raya. Alat pengesan kelajuan mencatatkan kelajuan melebihi 250km/j! (You would’nt believe this. There are cars racing on the road. My instrument recorded their speed at more than 250km/j!)

Police 2 : Hah! Tolong bagitau jenis kereta. (Hah! Please tell the type of cars)

Police 1 : Kereta di depan ialah sebuah Mitsubishi Lancer Evo 9. Mengekori di belakang ialah sebuah Nissan Skyline GT-R. Dan, amat mengejutkan, sebuah Kancil mengekori rapat di belakang kedua dua kereta sambil membuat isyarat menggunakan lampunya hendak memotong!! (The first car is a Mitsubishi Lancer Evo 9. It was followed by a Nissan Skyline GT-R. And the shocking part is a Kancil was tail-gating both cars closely while flashing its lights wanting to overtake them!!)

Police 2 : Malaysia Boleh!!

Police 1 : Boleh!!

(Story edited from a sms I received, added here and there)

He he he.. Enjoy the crap~!

Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution 9

Nissan Skyline GT-R

Perodua Kancil

Zam The Clown

What follows is a transcript of the telephone interview that Malaysia’s Minister of Information Zainuddin Maidin (ZAM) gave to the Doha-based TV Network Al-Jazeera (AJ) over the 5.00pm bulletin yesterday, moments after the BERSIH memo was delivered to Royal Palace at the close of the biggest anti-government protest in Malaysia in ten years.

ZAM: ….I commend your journalists trying to project, to exaggerate more than what actually happened. That, that, that, that’s it. We, we are not, the, the — and I, I congratulate your journalists behaving like an actor, that, that’s —

AJ: As you say that, sir, we’re watching scenes of protesters being sprayed by chemical-filled water …

ZAM (interrupts): Ya, I am watching, I hear, [?] …. trying to do it everywhere but in Malaysia people are allowed, to, you know [?] … Police have allowed the procession to go to the Istana Negara, you know, do police, first police, like, they handle them, they [?] them, they … the police don’t, don’t, don’t fire anybody …

AJ: Our correspondent came back to the office, sir, with chemicals in his eyes!

ZAM (speaking over her): … You, you, you, you are here with the idea, you are trying to project, what is your mind, you think that we are Pakistan, we are Burma, we are Myanmar, everything you, you are thinking …

AJ: Well unfortunately when you refuse to let people protest, it does appear so.

ZAM (speaking over her): …Ya, ya, we are not like you, you have early perception, you come here, you want to project us like undemocratic country. This a democratic country!

AJ: So why can’t people protest then, if it’s a democratic country?

ZAM (interjects at “protest then”): Ya, people protest, people then — first they protest, we are allowing protests, and they have demonstrated. But we just trying to disperse them and then later they, you know, disperse, but later our police compromise. They have compromised and allowed them to proceed to Negara. Police, our police have succeeded in handling them gently, right? Why do you report that and you take the opposition, someone from opposition party you ask him to speak, you don’t take from the government, right?

AJ: Why did you not break up these protesters —

ZAM (interrupting): Pardon? Pardon? Pardon?

AJ: Why did you not break up these protests more peacefully?

ZAM: I can’t hear you. I can’t hear you.

AJ: Why did you not break up these protests more peacefully?

ZAM: No we, we are, we, this protest is illegal. We don’t want, this, the, normally … (slight pause, then continues to talk while she interjects)

AJ (interjecting): OK, so let me return to my former question. Why is this protest illegal?

ZAM (babbling on): Ya it’s illegal protest because (AJ: Why?) we have the election in Malaysia. It’s no, no point on having the protest, we are allowing to have every, an election every five years, never fail. We not our like, are not like Myanmar, not like other country. And, and you are helping this. You Al-Jazeera also is helping this, this forces, the, you know, these forces who are not [?], who don’t believe in [?] …

AJ (seems to want to say something, but decides not to): I don’t … many thanks for joining us.

ZAM: I don’t, ya, you, Jazeera, this is, is Al-Jazeera attitude. Right?

(she doesn’t reply. In the background, the chants of the protesters fill the silence)

(credit : transcript obtained from idlethink(v3) : a faint blue idea of order | solidarity – http://www.idlethink.com/bersih/)

Do you guys understand what he was trying to say? I barely understand, even half of what he spoke. Maybe my Engrish no powder, need get more powder make it more power like him…To think that he is our Information Minister…. pfttttt!!!! With his pathetic English, the way he answered the questions, note the inconsistencies. Nampaknya pembangunan modal insan yang amat dititik beratkan oleh pentadbiran Pak Lah amatlah berjaya dan kita dapat lihat sendiri betapa berkualitinya Menteri Penerangan kita.  (Looks like the emphasize on human capital development by our government is on the right course!! Just look at YB Zam) But, he truly lives up to his name, Zam The Clown. No sweat, for him. Muahahahaha!!

Wow!! Crap Master N The Servants!

Just came back from a friend’s wedding at Johor. Tired, and feeling sick and disgusted after reading this just while ago.

‘PM Abdullah Badawi today said the BERSIH rally was an attempt to “trap” the Yang DiPertuan Agong and to drag royalty into politics.

He also made an oblique reminder to the Agong. Quote Star Online:

“I believe the King is mature, and the royalty will not be trapped into their (the opposition’s) politics,” he said after opening the 22nd Parti Bersatu Sabah (PBS) congress here on Sunday.’

What say you? I think he’s a bit over in his statement there… And this comment by a reader in a blog caught my attention.

“The rakyat know all this and yet are willing to go ahead – he must ask himself why. After all, he said he is for all of them.

They have no choice. They’re tired of all the sandiwaras, medicine-man doublespeaks, shenanigans, deflections, and one-bald-reason followed by another.

He should ask himself and his ilk one basic question – if he is so equally keen that the election process be fair and square, he should make sure that all avenues be laid open for the rakyat, no matter who they are, big or small, to make representation in whichever they think is right, to whomsoever they think can do something to improve matters.”

He refers to you know who..

And apparently regarding the BERSIH Nov 10 rally, our ‘independent’ dailies reported :

The Star :

Headline: Road closures, checks cause massive jams in Klang Valley

Several roads in the city centre were temporarily closed, resulting in massive traffic jams in the Klang Valley yesterday.

Inspector-General of Police Tan Sri Musa Hassan said the police were forced to use teargas and water cannons because the marchers refused to disperse when instructed to do so at 2.30pm. He put their number at 4,000.

The NST :

Headline: Illegal gathering causes traffic chaos in city

A crowd of about 4,000 gathered for an illegal march close to Dataran Merdeka yesterday, causing massive traffic jams across the city.

All they farking reported was about traffic jam????!!!! Hey!!? Traffic jam? The traffic jam caused by the police erecting unnecessary roadblocks, road closures no? If only you allow the rally to go on peacefully (luckily they still managed to do that, contrary to what our PM hope, riots and disturbance to happen as what he predicted if the gathering continue) and work with the organisers to divert the traffic properly, prepare the necessary alternative routes and signs to motorists to avoid traffic congestion. Well, if you can send 4000 policemen to the gathering I am sure you can put them to better use.

And only 4000 people participated in the gathering? Bollocks! Unless I worshipped The Star, NST, Berita Harian, Utusan Malaysia, Harian Metro and other crap local dailies I will believe that. Seeing with my own eyes, and reading CNN, AFP, International Herald Tribune most of them reported minimum more than 40, 000 people attended the gathering. Who you want to bluff heh? I present to you an interesting post on this number game by a blogger in his blog under the ‘Zero Deception’ I can only tell you, if our local newspaper reported the number as 10000, divide it by 10, actually is only 1000 or 10% percent lah.. like the report in The Star about expected 200, 000 people will attend our PM open house at PWTC back then. Read the post and analysis on that figure here in this post ‘Is it 200,000 or 20,000‘. So do you still blatantly believe the figure quoted by our ‘independent’ press?? Hahahaha!

Illegal gathering heh? What about the gathering by the SIL and his kuncu kuncu mat rempit in front of American Embassy to hand over a memorandum not so long ago?? That’s not illegal gathering lah right?? Farking bias lah you man.. Imaybe only obtained A2 for my SPM History paper, but I remember that our independence achieved by series of demonstration and rallies, no?? Read the history books again people.. Gathering and rallies is not something new, and it is not wrong if it is for something good. (Well in Malaysia, currently that will be anything that is perceived as sucking up the master balls, then it is sure good lah.. if you try to bark at the master then it is sure illegal, not good, malicious, inciting disharmony those shits lah.. Understand?)

This is history, something that must be remembered. On Nov. 10 more than 40,000 (some reported more than 50,000) people gathered for the BERSIH rally. If this is still considered as ‘minority’, ‘unrelevant’ voice then what is relevant? Since when we have a demonstration at this scale? During the Reformasi period? This is the biggest public gathering in the country so far. Needless to say, that figure would have been much higher had the police not prevented and the people from attending the rally. What more with cars were checked for BERSIH materials and t-shirts, buses with passengers wearing BERSIH t-shirts were stopped, LRTs were not allowed to stop at the stations nearby to the gathering places.

So now you know, people are frustrated, people have grievances. They couldn’t bring it through the ‘proper’ channels so they take it to the streets, bracing the rains and FRUs, police, water cannons or maybe risk their lives for something they believe. Why do you think they did that when they could sleep at home, having great sex, watching porn, sleeping or doing whatever nice shits? It is because they care, you idiot!

Never Ending Race..

Man… they are at it again! Some asshole proposed that teaching of Science and Mathematics to be done in Bahasa Melayu. What?? How many times we want to change? Kejap kejap tukar..

And, the talk about helping Malays never end. Sure they will put up some tables, statistics to support, to justify the action. I tell you what, there’s no way Malays will catch up with other races especially Chinese if they keep on relying on subsidies, living on crunches. Why? Need not to say, NEP failed to deliver the results they want. Do you believe that after 40 years or so of NEP, 90% of the Malays still considered to be poor? And that 18.9% equity holding never fail to be quoted by Malay politicians. What you can say but NEP is a failure? From the start, the implementation is already at flaws. All the while the emphasize is to help, to give, give and give.. So when they will be able to stand on their own? The rhetoric is to help all the poor regardless of race which is good, but as you know, Malaysia is famous for the half baked if not bias implementation.

Why I said Malays will never catch up with other races if this kind of policy is allowed to be continued? Well, by putting the emphasize on Malays, by giving preferential treatment to Malays, you are making other races more competitive. The Chinese, being the cunning and smart race they always claim to be will find ways to go around the system. Same goes to other non Malay races. And the illusion of one day Malays will make it, they will be on par with other races will remain a dream if they are being helped all the time. How do you expect a person to be competitive if he is offered the handicap? And do you think other race will stop and watch the Malays doing their things? No!! Farking ridiculous. As the Malays being subsidized and helped in every sector, the Chinese, the Indians will compete on their own abilities. Who do you think will come out as a better and competitive race?

Take this as an analogy, two athletes is running. The first one (let us call him Ah Beng) already at a distance because of his ability, and the another one (let us call him  Ahmad) because of his slow start, he’s lagging behind. But, since they want to help the weaker Ahmad to finish on par with Ah Beng at the finish line, they give him some magic pill that will make him run faster, but only as long as the magic pill effect is there. As the effect wears out, he will be running slow again. So they keep running, and it seems Ahmad is catching up with Ah Beng, but everytime Ahmad speeds past Ah Beng, the damn magic pill effect wear out, so he gets slower again and Ah Beng being a good runner keep running in front him. I should tell you also, Ah Beng is a very competitive farker, he will push himself harder when he sees challenges, obstacles. When he knows Ahmad is being helped, he pushes himself to run faster and faster. So, they question is will Ahmad be able to finish together with Ah Beng? Hell no! Unless Ah Beng stop and fall asleep or fall dead because of severe fatigue, then maybe Ahmad has the chance. But as long as both of them running that way, the chance of Ahmad winning the race or even close to Ah Beng is zero!

Stop with this attitude of pointing which race is superior, which one is weaker. Prepare all the Malaysians regardless of race political believe to compete with the rest of the world. Pampering one race will only make them weaker and neglecting other will only make them more hostile and competitive. And this is no way to preserve the unity among Malaysians. Only if our leaders truly understand this.  I still wait for the day to come.