Zam The Clown

•November 12, 2007 • 10 Comments

What follows is a transcript of the telephone interview that Malaysia’s Minister of Information Zainuddin Maidin (ZAM) gave to the Doha-based TV Network Al-Jazeera (AJ) over the 5.00pm bulletin yesterday, moments after the BERSIH memo was delivered to Royal Palace at the close of the biggest anti-government protest in Malaysia in ten years.

ZAM: ….I commend your journalists trying to project, to exaggerate more than what actually happened. That, that, that, that’s it. We, we are not, the, the — and I, I congratulate your journalists behaving like an actor, that, that’s —

AJ: As you say that, sir, we’re watching scenes of protesters being sprayed by chemical-filled water …

ZAM (interrupts): Ya, I am watching, I hear, [?] …. trying to do it everywhere but in Malaysia people are allowed, to, you know [?] … Police have allowed the procession to go to the Istana Negara, you know, do police, first police, like, they handle them, they [?] them, they … the police don’t, don’t, don’t fire anybody …

AJ: Our correspondent came back to the office, sir, with chemicals in his eyes!

ZAM (speaking over her): … You, you, you, you are here with the idea, you are trying to project, what is your mind, you think that we are Pakistan, we are Burma, we are Myanmar, everything you, you are thinking …

AJ: Well unfortunately when you refuse to let people protest, it does appear so.

ZAM (speaking over her): …Ya, ya, we are not like you, you have early perception, you come here, you want to project us like undemocratic country. This a democratic country!

AJ: So why can’t people protest then, if it’s a democratic country?

ZAM (interjects at “protest then”): Ya, people protest, people then — first they protest, we are allowing protests, and they have demonstrated. But we just trying to disperse them and then later they, you know, disperse, but later our police compromise. They have compromised and allowed them to proceed to Negara. Police, our police have succeeded in handling them gently, right? Why do you report that and you take the opposition, someone from opposition party you ask him to speak, you don’t take from the government, right?

AJ: Why did you not break up these protesters —

ZAM (interrupting): Pardon? Pardon? Pardon?

AJ: Why did you not break up these protests more peacefully?

ZAM: I can’t hear you. I can’t hear you.

AJ: Why did you not break up these protests more peacefully?

ZAM: No we, we are, we, this protest is illegal. We don’t want, this, the, normally … (slight pause, then continues to talk while she interjects)

AJ (interjecting): OK, so let me return to my former question. Why is this protest illegal?

ZAM (babbling on): Ya it’s illegal protest because (AJ: Why?) we have the election in Malaysia. It’s no, no point on having the protest, we are allowing to have every, an election every five years, never fail. We not our like, are not like Myanmar, not like other country. And, and you are helping this. You Al-Jazeera also is helping this, this forces, the, you know, these forces who are not [?], who don’t believe in [?] …

AJ (seems to want to say something, but decides not to): I don’t … many thanks for joining us.

ZAM: I don’t, ya, you, Jazeera, this is, is Al-Jazeera attitude. Right?

(she doesn’t reply. In the background, the chants of the protesters fill the silence)

(credit : transcript obtained from idlethink(v3) : a faint blue idea of order | solidarity – http://www.idlethink.com/bersih/)

Do you guys understand what he was trying to say? I barely understand, even half of what he spoke. Maybe my Engrish no powder, need get more powder make it more power like him…To think that he is our Information Minister…. pfttttt!!!! With his pathetic English, the way he answered the questions, note the inconsistencies. Nampaknya pembangunan modal insan yang amat dititik beratkan oleh pentadbiran Pak Lah amatlah berjaya dan kita dapat lihat sendiri betapa berkualitinya Menteri Penerangan kita.  (Looks like the emphasize on human capital development by our government is on the right course!! Just look at YB Zam) But, he truly lives up to his name, Zam The Clown. No sweat, for him. Muahahahaha!!

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Wow!! Crap Master N The Servants!

•November 12, 2007 • 7 Comments

Just came back from a friend’s wedding at Johor. Tired, and feeling sick and disgusted after reading this just while ago.

‘PM Abdullah Badawi today said the BERSIH rally was an attempt to “trap” the Yang DiPertuan Agong and to drag royalty into politics.

He also made an oblique reminder to the Agong. Quote Star Online:

“I believe the King is mature, and the royalty will not be trapped into their (the opposition’s) politics,” he said after opening the 22nd Parti Bersatu Sabah (PBS) congress here on Sunday.’

What say you? I think he’s a bit over in his statement there… And this comment by a reader in a blog caught my attention.

“The rakyat know all this and yet are willing to go ahead – he must ask himself why. After all, he said he is for all of them.

They have no choice. They’re tired of all the sandiwaras, medicine-man doublespeaks, shenanigans, deflections, and one-bald-reason followed by another.

He should ask himself and his ilk one basic question – if he is so equally keen that the election process be fair and square, he should make sure that all avenues be laid open for the rakyat, no matter who they are, big or small, to make representation in whichever they think is right, to whomsoever they think can do something to improve matters.

He refers to you know who..

And apparently regarding the BERSIH Nov 10 rally, our ‘independent’ dailies reported :

The Star :

Headline: Road closures, checks cause massive jams in Klang Valley

Several roads in the city centre were temporarily closed, resulting in massive traffic jams in the Klang Valley yesterday.

Inspector-General of Police Tan Sri Musa Hassan said the police were forced to use teargas and water cannons because the marchers refused to disperse when instructed to do so at 2.30pm. He put their number at 4,000.

The NST :

Headline: Illegal gathering causes traffic chaos in city

A crowd of about 4,000 gathered for an illegal march close to Dataran Merdeka yesterday, causing massive traffic jams across the city.

All they farking reported was about traffic jam????!!!! Hey!!? Traffic jam? The traffic jam caused by the police erecting unnecessary roadblocks, road closures no? If only you allow the rally to go on peacefully (luckily they still managed to do that, contrary to what our PM hope, riots and disturbance to happen as what he predicted if the gathering continue) and work with the organisers to divert the traffic properly, prepare the necessary alternative routes and signs to motorists to avoid traffic congestion. Well, if you can send 4000 policemen to the gathering I am sure you can put them to better use.

And only 4000 people participated in the gathering? Bollocks! Unless I worshipped The Star, NST, Berita Harian, Utusan Malaysia, Harian Metro and other crap local dailies I will believe that. Seeing with my own eyes, and reading CNN, AFP, International Herald Tribune most of them reported minimum more than 40, 000 people attended the gathering. Who you want to bluff heh? I present to you an interesting post on this number game by a blogger in his blog under the ‘Zero Deception’ I can only tell you, if our local newspaper reported the number as 10000, divide it by 10, actually is only 1000 or 10% percent lah.. like the report in The Star about expected 200, 000 people will attend our PM open house at PWTC back then. Read the post and analysis on that figure here in this post ‘Is it 200,000 or 20,000‘. So do you still blatantly believe the figure quoted by our ‘independent’ press?? Hahahaha!

Illegal gathering heh? What about the gathering by the SIL and his kuncu kuncu mat rempit in front of American Embassy to hand over a memorandum not so long ago?? That’s not illegal gathering lah right?? Farking bias lah you man.. Imaybe only obtained A2 for my SPM History paper, but I remember that our independence achieved by series of demonstration and rallies, no?? Read the history books again people.. Gathering and rallies is not something new, and it is not wrong if it is for something good. (Well in Malaysia, currently that will be anything that is perceived as sucking up the master balls, then it is sure good lah.. if you try to bark at the master then it is sure illegal, not good, malicious, inciting disharmony those shits lah.. Understand?)

This is history, something that must be remembered. On Nov. 10 more than 40,000 (some reported more than 50,000) people gathered for the BERSIH rally. If this is still considered as ‘minority’, ‘unrelevant’ voice then what is relevant? Since when we have a demonstration at this scale? During the Reformasi period? This is the biggest public gathering in the country so far. Needless to say, that figure would have been much higher had the police not prevented and the people from attending the rally. What more with cars were checked for BERSIH materials and t-shirts, buses with passengers wearing BERSIH t-shirts were stopped, LRTs were not allowed to stop at the stations nearby to the gathering places.

So now you know, people are frustrated, people have grievances. They couldn’t bring it through the ‘proper’ channels so they take it to the streets, bracing the rains and FRUs, police, water cannons or maybe risk their lives for something they believe. Why do you think they did that when they could sleep at home, having great sex, watching porn, sleeping or doing whatever nice shits? It is because they care, you idiot!

Never Ending Race..

•November 8, 2007 • 8 Comments

Man… they are at it again! Some asshole proposed that teaching of Science and Mathematics to be done in Bahasa Melayu. What?? How many times we want to change? Kejap kejap tukar..

And, the talk about helping Malays never end. Sure they will put up some tables, statistics to support, to justify the action. I tell you what, there’s no way Malays will catch up with other races especially Chinese if they keep on relying on subsidies, living on crunches. Why? Need not to say, NEP failed to deliver the results they want. Do you believe that after 40 years or so of NEP, 90% of the Malays still considered to be poor? And that 18.9% equity holding never fail to be quoted by Malay politicians. What you can say but NEP is a failure? From the start, the implementation is already at flaws. All the while the emphasize is to help, to give, give and give.. So when they will be able to stand on their own? The rhetoric is to help all the poor regardless of race which is good, but as you know, Malaysia is famous for the half baked if not bias implementation.

Why I said Malays will never catch up with other races if this kind of policy is allowed to be continued? Well, by putting the emphasize on Malays, by giving preferential treatment to Malays, you are making other races more competitive. The Chinese, being the cunning and smart race they always claim to be will find ways to go around the system. Same goes to other non Malay races. And the illusion of one day Malays will make it, they will be on par with other races will remain a dream if they are being helped all the time. How do you expect a person to be competitive if he is offered the handicap? And do you think other race will stop and watch the Malays doing their things? No!! Farking ridiculous. As the Malays being subsidized and helped in every sector, the Chinese, the Indians will compete on their own abilities. Who do you think will come out as a better and competitive race?

Take this as an analogy, two athletes is running. The first one (let us call him Ah Beng) already at a distance because of his ability, and the another one (let us call him  Ahmad) because of his slow start, he’s lagging behind. But, since they want to help the weaker Ahmad to finish on par with Ah Beng at the finish line, they give him some magic pill that will make him run faster, but only as long as the magic pill effect is there. As the effect wears out, he will be running slow again. So they keep running, and it seems Ahmad is catching up with Ah Beng, but everytime Ahmad speeds past Ah Beng, the damn magic pill effect wear out, so he gets slower again and Ah Beng being a good runner keep running in front him. I should tell you also, Ah Beng is a very competitive farker, he will push himself harder when he sees challenges, obstacles. When he knows Ahmad is being helped, he pushes himself to run faster and faster. So, they question is will Ahmad be able to finish together with Ah Beng? Hell no! Unless Ah Beng stop and fall asleep or fall dead because of severe fatigue, then maybe Ahmad has the chance. But as long as both of them running that way, the chance of Ahmad winning the race or even close to Ah Beng is zero!

Stop with this attitude of pointing which race is superior, which one is weaker. Prepare all the Malaysians regardless of race political believe to compete with the rest of the world. Pampering one race will only make them weaker and neglecting other will only make them more hostile and competitive. And this is no way to preserve the unity among Malaysians. Only if our leaders truly understand this.  I still wait for the day to come.

I Love My Job.. Not

•November 8, 2007 • 9 Comments

My line of work requires me to deal with the authorities quite often as I need to chase for approvals, submission status..’angkat angkat’ the fella.. make him/her happy (perform strip dance if forced to haha! 😀 :D) When we have few projects running, I’ll need to call them up. Typical conversations with them will be:

Scenario One :

Me : Hello, Selamat pagi, boleh sambungkan saya ke bahagian xxxx?

Operator : Encik tunggu sebentar..

Me : Ok.

En. A : Hello, Bahagian xxxx.

Me : Ya, selamat pagi encik, boleh saya bercakap dengan Tn. B?

En. A : Tunggu sebentar saya sambungkan.

Me : Ok. (waiting)

tut tut.. tut tut… tut tut tut tut tut tut… (the line goes off)

Me : Ma chee bye…

Scenario Two:

Early in the morning, about 8.30 like that..

Me : Hello, selamat pagi. Saya call dari perunding X, nak check status kelulusan pelan untuk projek tetuan Y, Pn.  D ada?

Pn. Z : Pn. D belum masuk lagi. Telefon balik nanti.

Me : Ok. Terima kasih

30 mins later,

Me : Hello, boleh saya bercakap dengan Pn. D?

Pn. H : Pn. D keluar sarapan. Baru je keluar

Me : Tak apa, saya call balik nanti.

Another 15 mins

Me : Hello, Boleh saya bercakap dengan Pn. D?

Pn. C : Pn. D sudah keluar inspection encik.

Me : …. Er, Ada contact no. dia tak? Handphone no?

Pn. C : Maaf encik. Kita tak ada. Encik boleh hubungi dia di talian ext. XXX

Me : Saya dah cuba call dia banyak kali, ada pegawai lain yang saya boleh refer?

Pn. C : Tak ada encik. Memang Pn. D saja jaga kawasan ni.

Me : Tak apa lah, saya telefon balik nanti.

Afternoon, after lunch,

Me : Hello, Pn. D ada?

En. K : Pn. D mc hari ni. Boleh telefon balik esok?

Me : cheebuy..! $#_$(X^^)_~!(*&)(0-!~

Yeah, it is damn frustrating trying to get hold of the officers. And they are farking outdated species which doesn’t own a mobile phone? (not that I believe that, but when I asked, they never want to give their number, so I have no choice but to call the office line) Many times, after trying the whole day, I couldn’t reach the officer, and the next day I called, the officer on leave, for 2 weeks. Pfftttt…. And nobody take over her work/file. The typical response will be ‘Saya tak tahu… (Our PM always use this line…to the fullest) Encik kena tunggu dia balik.. And the client was chasing my butt off for his project status..

Spitting On The Wrong Side

•November 6, 2007 • 6 Comments

Samyvellu appeared quite often in the news last few days. The things with M. Kayveas and PPP, then the demolition of Indian temple issue, and latest news from him, he said there will be no Deepavali open house this year. I guess he’s not that happy with his party’s big bro not stopping their meeting during Deepavali to show some respect to the Indian community. It’s ok, Uncle Samy.. let’s have a good time, hear some jokes first ya?? 🙂

“When Samy Value completed 25 years of his role as a politician over M’sia, he wanted a special postage stamp issued, with his picture on it. He insisted the stamp to be of international quality. When the stamps were duly released, he began hearing complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and become furious. He called the chief of the Secret Service and ordered him to investigate the matter. The chief checked the matter out at several post offices, and then reported on the problem to Samy Value.

He said: “Sir, the stamp is really of international quality. The problem is, our citizens are spitting on the wrong side!!”

Sekian terima kasih….

Super Duper Farked Up

•November 5, 2007 • 5 Comments

Bernama.com

Malaysian National News Agency

Umno Members Stand To Win Prizes Totalling RM5.25 Mln

General

November 04, 2007 22:49 PM

KUALA LUMPUR, Nov 4 (Bernama) — At the Umno General Assembly next week, party members registered as voters with the Election Commission (EC), will stand to win prizes totalling RM5.25 million.

Umno executive secretary Datuk Husainay Hashim told Bernama this today.

He also said that Umno members who had registered with the EC would also receive membership cards. Umno had issued 2.8 million membership cards and would deliver them to those who had registered with the EC tomorrow, he said.

“For Umno members who have yet to register, we will provide the facility for them to do so during the assembly and the membership card will be made for them,” he said.

He also said that during the assembly, national spacemen Dr Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor Sheikh Mustapha and Dr Mohd Faiz Khaleed would present a flag to Umno president Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi.

— BERNAMA

This is damn farked up man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s our money!!! Fark!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why every time farking time we need to farking dangle the carrot for Malaysians to do or accomplish something for their own good? Tiu.. And why the farking party still come up with this kind of thing when we try to eliminate this stupid culture of doing things only when there’s incentives and prizes?? This is very wrong. This will send wrong signals to people out there but thanks to some morons, they will have this ‘lottery’ thing going on during the party assembly. That’s an achievement, in a true Malaysia Boleh sense, or should I say Umno Boleh??

To register as a voter is your farking responsibility as a Malaysian, and for me I will feel damn farking insulted if someone try to pay or offer some prizes/incentives to me for doing just that. But, some people just have no shame.. I guess.. Pftttttt!!!

p/s: Sheeessshhh!! What the space clowns doing at the Umno assembly, there are representing Malaysia or Umno??

Seven Wonders Of Malaysia

•November 5, 2007 • 2 Comments

Received this in my email, since I got nothing to crap lately might as well post this haha! No idea who wrote this in the1st place. If you know, please tell me so I can acknowledge the writer properly 🙂

SEVEN WONDERS OF MALAYSIA

Organisers have recently announced that they have elected the seven new wonders of the world. The finalists include Great Wall of China and Taj Mahal. Not to be outdone here in Bolehland, our Prime Minister follows up with an announcement of our very own 7 wonders.

1. THE ZAKARIA ‘PALACE’

The only building built with no approval and unpaid assessment fees that is not demolished and sealed. The owner is the first bankrupt to be able to own a palace.

2. THE ‘BOCOR’ PARLIAMENT

The unique feature is its ability to ‘leak’ away billions of taxpayers money while the guardians of the nation stood there all wet.

3. ‘UNHAUNTED’ KUCHING PRISON

The only $600M prison in this world that is free of haunted stories and encounters. Reasons No execution was done here before. In fact no prisoners were held in here. There are also no concrete walls with barbed wires to contain souls – both dead and alive. Maybe it can qualify as the first imaginary prison built with real money.

4. PAYA INDAH ‘WASTED’ WETLANDS

The nation’s premier eco-tourism park holds the record in the category of attracting more lawyers with litigation than tourists with binoculars.

5. ‘NOT SO’ SMART TUNNEL

Uniquely design to alleviate floods. When completed, it does everything except alleviate floods.

6. ‘DISCONNECTED’ CYBERJAYA

The one and only high tech city in the world that offers limited or no internet connection to its residents.

7. CROOKED ‘CROOKED’ BRIDGE

The most crooked bridge in the world dreamt by the most crooked person in the world. Too bad it was abandoned; otherwise it will make it as one of the wonders.

There are other entries that make the writer ‘wondering’, but fall short to qualify as one of seven wonders in the writer’s mind. An extra:

‘ABSCONDING’ BRICKENDONBURY FACILITY

Extremely well-planned facility to prepare young athletes for the Summer Olympics in a winter country. Too bad it is located overseas, thus automatically disqualifying it as one of Bolehland’s wonders.